Here's the REAL issue...this ain't rocket science.
In marriage - -
1) She stays: You pay
2) She goes: You pay
3) She cheats: You pay
4) You go: You pay
If she is a "Boss Babe" All the money she earns is HERS, and All the money he earns is Theirs. She always yaps about "her money" but if her husband wants a hobby, she says "We can't afford it".
@ThrowItOnTheGrill In many states the policy is unlimited at exactly ten years or more. One result is men notice as they get near the ten year date, they plan in advance and sue for divorce First. Women are legally defined as victims in all cases but if the husband files First before the ten year mark the QDRO ( Qualified Domestic Relations Order) might allow him to keep some of his pension money and a little bit of his savings. Instead of her receiving All Da Money (Alimony) she only gets Most of it as long as it is less than ten years and he files first. I know men who planned this carefully and they did pretty well. The only caveat is he MUST be in excellent health and Must be one of those people who can reinvent himself at any age ( ie start over) and quickly learn to make lemonade from lemons.
@crimestoppers1877 I prefer the easy way... don't get married in the first place. I mean seriously, what benefits do the men get from being married? You get another person in your private space, going crazy because you're doing nothing? Pass.
"A lot of church men have never had church women act sexual toward them, so they think women are pure creatures." As a big-time church-goer, this hit home.
When the feminine sex views you as attractive and wants you it is intoxicating. There are reasons why all of known history the sexes kept separated. When my wife passed and I was faxing paperwork/picking up the pieces many women saw it as an opportunity to move into her spot, it is sad when you realize the true behavior behind the lipstick smiles.
Not just church men. All those videos that are "ways to tell a woman is flirting with you?" Never saw any of those, either.
To quote the movie "Marty," "Whatever it is that women like, I ain't got it."
Not crying in a beer about it, I just notice it (or lack of it) and I've learned to live with it, I've got other things to do.
I was never a "church man", I was turned off very early on religion when I saw churches use their parishioner's generosity to build an empire. I also knew single women who went to church, the joke was "Sinning Friday and Saturday night, in church Sunday asking for forgiveness". When women got tired of clubbing in their twenties in the old days, they started going to church to find a man.
After my divorce I found out my very religious ex-wife was a serial cheater. I asked her what God thought about her cheating and she simply replied that God forgives her as long as she asks for it. She gave me the deer in the headlights look when I replied, "You do realize that God knows whether your remorse is genuine or not, right?"
And the hypocrisy isn't limited to women. I had a very religious work colleague years ago, he didn't even swear. One day another guy was mentioning his buddy had some laptops that "fell off the back of a truck". My religious colleague wanted to buy one of these steeply discounted laptops. I asked him about it and his claim of innocence was "I didn't steal it." I asked him what God would think of him enabling the thief and he stood by his "I'm not the one who stole it" defense.
This must explain my experience? I am Not a Chad and I am generally ambivalent about the scheming and machinations of women. I have more women than I would ever want or need. Why? Women love a challenge. Each woman wants to be the center of attention among all other women. I also decline to go to church. There is too much hen pecking, chattering and gossiping. Most of these women are trying to give it away but most are already married but somehow forget to tell me when we first meet ( meat?).
I am not a great looking guy but I am ok, with decent build for my age, but I have been surprised more than once at how aggressive a woman can be in the right situation on a date, they are not innocent angels they try to put forth, and all these women did attend church. But that being said we are all sinners, so I can't expect a woman to be perfect either or me, but just try to avoid putting a woman up as sweet innocent too easily, remember she most likely isn't.
My pastor just finished a 4 week series shaming men. One thing I will never forget is him telling everyone the reason husbands are not getting laid is because they are not catering to the emotional needs of their wives. He literally said that women's emotions are the head of the house. This only told me that he is not getting laid.
I have lived in the Southern Baptist church from birth. Young men are not given a stake in the outcome or a seat at the table. Blaming men has become a national epidemic.
As a young Catholic husband, I was shocked to discover the realization that I was sincere in my vows, but the woman isn't. Sex stops almost immediately after she has her desired number of kids. She stay close with her Mom and her girlfriends, mainly to talk about how awful the husbands are ....
As a pastor, the issue of men leaving the church has been a topic of discussion for a long time. However, the solutions have been...create a men's group and do "manly" stuff...like...going on a men's retreat to the woods? Or shaming men into being "real" men, rather than inspiring men to be men. The real problem is that women (particularly older women) control the modern church. Pastors are too afraid to call out the real problems because they don't want to offend the old ladies who are paying their salary. They fear that if they start calling out the ladies for their baloney, they are afraid they will lose their job. And to be fair, that fear is not unfounded. The women in control of the church can get a pastor fired very, very quickly (despite not having any formal power). Why? Because their husbands are weak and will do whatever they say. The pastors are weak and won't risk their jobs. And so...we have the current situation where the modern church is in shambles.
I use to belong to a church group where they gave supposed testimonies. The majority of the group was woman. There was no humility, and no responsibility for their actions in their testimonies. Got to agree with you Pearl.
God may give second chances, but I don’t think it’s good for men to do so because of the negative impact on the children. My ex-wife significantly underrepresented her promiscuous past and claimed she changed her ways. I married this “church girl” however I shouldn’t have. She had an affair with a ex-boyfriend who was also a ex-felon. She was shocked that I was given custody of the kids and the house. Do I regret my choice, absolutely. I love my kids but I don’t recommend giving any woman with a promiscuous past a chance because of how it has harmed and continues to harm my children.
I married, a church lady from Russia, she is an orthodox Christian.
Get this no drama, and she enjoys being a woman.
And she understands a man’s role, and her role in marriage.
Get this the better I am to her the more she loves.
Our relationship is very close to the series Outlander
I am a devout Christian, I've been chased out of many many churches for my approach to life. Stoichism was met with hostility, strength was met with accusations. I've been told over and over about sacrificing for women is the christian thing to do. I never saw a christian woman ready to sacrifice for me. Took me 3 decades to find a church that i could call home
The Daily Wire types are actually un-Christian. Jesus didn't deny sinners responsibility for their actions. He forgave them when they had accepted responsibility for their actions.
He didn't say:
"Men made you do it" or
"The Romans made you do it"
They took responsibility and he recognised that.
Daily Wire just say:
"Feminism made them do it."
This is why as a divorced man I don’t go to church either they shun me for being divorced or they want me to marry the single mother that has been through one or more divorces
Notable Comments and Replies:
@crimestoppers1877: Provides detailed insight into how men might plan divorces to protect their finances, reflecting strategic and somewhat cynical attitudes towards marriage and divorce laws.
@ThrowItOnTheGrill: Suggests avoiding marriage to sidestep potential issues, indicating a pragmatic, albeit negative, view of marriage.
@BigStickCombat: Discusses misconceptions about women's behavior in religious contexts, suggesting a disconnect between idealized and actual behaviors.
@Shadow_Banned_Conservative: Shares personal anecdotes highlighting hypocrisy and moral failings within religious communities.
@jeremyweishaar9523: Critiques a pastor’s advice, reflecting frustration with the church's handling of marital issues from a male perspective.
I left a church because the pastor said that the world would be a better place if women were in charge. He also said that a real man accepts it when his wife is better than him.
Red Pill is not just about sexual value. It's about accepting reality about everything in life. Work, finances, relationships, health, politics, etc. That's why MGTOW is getting big, because we took sexual value out to focus on everything else.
Pearl, you are spot on, but you don't know about one thing: as we age, we change a LOT more than women do. By middle age, most of us have 1 or 2 crazy ex's under our belt, and we have arrived at a point where our trust (and with it, our desire) for women is starting to attenuate. By age 50 or 60, most of us are quite happy to be close to celibate - the BS just isn't worth the trouble.
This is funny because it reminded of when I was dating my wife and we first got married. We are both Christians and she was a virgin, but I was not. We would do the usual kissing and things that would get hot and heavy while we were dating, but I would always try to refrain to taking it too far since I knew she wanted to wait until marriage. After about three months of this she finally just gives in and then leads me to her bedroom and we have sex. We then continued to have sex until we got married. After we got married she felt so guilty about having sex before marriage it really put a strain on our marriage that first year. The whole time she was blaming me. We finally worked it out and moved past it, but I brought it up again recently (25 years later) and she was still blaming me for it. I told her, "don't you remember that it was you that lead me in to your bedroom? I didn't pressure you to have sex, you willingly wanted it". She didn't even remember that it was her that wanted it. Woman are like children when it comes to accountability and Christian woman are no different. SMH!
Married twice. Both to Christian women who were involved in church. Both divorced me and not for any Biblical reasons. Both left me with nothing after the divorce and I had to rebuild my life twice. Never again.
Chances are she was hooking up with other males, outside the church. But she made the churchgoing boyfriend wait as a test. It's always the innocent looking ones.
The problems we facing as men or women: 1) Lack of good role models. 2) Personal accountability. 3) Bad Friends 4) Bad Advice 5) Too Much Social Media 6) Lack of actual knowledge and wisdom (lack of reason and lack of information and lack of understanding) 7 Lack of wanting to Fix my situation (just blame somebody else and give me a hand out).
i think it's fair to say women were duped by feminism. I think it's also fair to say millennials were duped into college. You underestimate how powerful propaganda can be.
Assuming personal responsibility is the best antidote to the mental illness of our times. Anytime we play the victim card we weaken our willpower and we degrade ourselves and our society.
She's likely too young to have ever seen or cared about it, but the red pill was adopted from a 1999 movie, The Matrix, and is essentially about being exposed to the absolute truth. No judgement, no preference, only reality.
"This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember, all I'm offering is the truth, nothing more.” ― Morpheus
The biggest problem with many women today, weather they are Christian or not, is that they expect the men to do everything. Marriage is a partnership, each should work equally to make a good home and love equally.
The problem of looking for lost lambs, people who party a lot and are "living la vida loca" is that in time the church will be filled with these people.
"Get a police report, otherwise I don't believe you." that was profound. I never even thought of that. My ex filed 2 false PFA's on me (even though I've never even raised a finger to her) and we never had one single Police call to our house.
As I've learned from Jordan Peterson, though I'm sure many others know as well...Women score high in Agreeableness, hardly will they ever take their own path and especially when influenced by friend groups, marketing, social media...very much Hive Mind Creatures. Then add in the lack of Accountability and Reason and here we are.
When churches agree with SIN lifestyle - Let them reap the rewards according to their support & deeds... When tree's do not produce fruit... Know them according to their deeds...
Unfortunately the guilt on men works because men are known to be capable of feeling guiltynwhereas women NEVER, in the archetypical sense of it. She was not ashamed, she was gaming it and afraid of losing, BIG Difference.
Red pill and blue pill are terms taken from the movie The Matrix where Neo has to decide whether to take the blue pill and stay in the computer generated illusion of the Matrix or take the red pill and wake up to reality free of the Matrix. The red pill stands for reality or being realistic.
You are correct. In the typical church the sermon on Father's Day tells the men they are falling short and need to step up to their responsibilities, no encouragement for those that are really doing their best. Fathers leave the sermon defeated. On Mother's Day they pastors honor the women. There is an implied and sometimes stated message that it is the husband's job to make the wife happy. Therefore, if the wife is unhappy, it is on the husband. Faithful mothers and fathers are both due encouragement. Many pastors are actually afraid to challenge the women. At the same time men are admonished to be the leader of the home without the crucial part of that message that one cannot lead without another willing to follow. I have had a number of fellow Christian good men essentially say, "I am the head of the house but if my wife disagrees, I always do what she wants because I love her, or she is so wonderful". Few men in this culture are truly leading in their home. the pastors chastise them for this but enable the women to not accept the husbands leadership.
I stopped going to church when I realized that they refused to call out sexless marriage as a violation of the marriage vows. I followed the rules and waited for marriage like I was taught and I waited for nothing. I'll never set foot in a church again. They ruined my life.
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